Temper tantrum at 30

What if being still doesn’t have as much to do with waiting on the Lord but quieting your heart so that you can take in all the beauty that is around you right now? What if being still is more about giving your soul room to grow?

I’m always thinking, planning and planning some more (even in my sleep) about life but recently the Lord impressed on my heart to Be Still. For me be still translated as “waiting” and while I wouldn’t call myself impatient (okay, maybe sometimes) anytime I hear wait I automatically become claustrophobic – like waiting means I’m stuck and I’ll never get to do anything ever again (dramatic, yes but true). What if I miss out on an awesome opportunity because I’m “being still?”

While this certainly isn’t rational thinking I would guess it’s probably more common than the principle of being still and so I learned two key principles from my time with Jesus and questioning what being still meant for me and my growth.

God Knows Better Than Me (seems so simple yet so difficult at times). When I question God and His timing I’m saying I know better than Him. I would like to argue I don’t think this way but I’m afraid my actions say otherwise. God takes this way of thinking very seriously. There are plenty of examples from the Bible of people who thought their plan was better, disobeyed God’s voice and ended up not liking the outcome of their decision. This is a very important principle and definitely deserves my attention but it seems secondary to other principle God wanted to teach me.

Being Still Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Moving Forward.  Being still meant waiting to hear from God (key word waiting) and my reaction is to be dramatic because being still and waiting on God’s timing is messing up my plan (just being real). But the Holy Spirit lifted my perspective and I found freedom in being still when I realized God wasn’t saying no to my dreams and plans but rather He wanted me to quiet my mind from the planning so that I could enjoy all the awesomeness He has placed around me right now. Could it be we are a culture that is always thinking about the next great thing and we forget to still our hearts (trust those next great things will be come) and take a few moments to enjoy what is right here in this place?

If I’m honest I can see I have everything I prayed for 18-months ago when I was leaving Columbus. I prayed my life would like it does and while I believe God has put more dreams on my heart I also think He is saying be still and see you have what you prayed for, acknowledge my faithfulness.

And I can see it.  I can see God’s faithfulness and answered prayers. This is a moment I want to capture. I need to remember the wilderness God brought me out of. I’m so busy trying to plan more moments to capture that I could miss the ones right in front of me today. He reminded me I need to be still long enough to capture these moments first.

Full disclosure: I can’t stop planning and dreaming – it’s just me and let’s be honest there are a lot worse things I could be doing with my time but I can calm my heart at different times throughout the day, take a deep breath and look around at all the Lord has provided. This moment didn’t become great without sacrifices, heartache and a lot of tears so I need to enjoy it.

Only time will tell what is next for me. You can be assured that I have a lot planned but today, right now, I’m stopping to say thanks God for this moment and thank you for all the people you brought into my life that helped shape this moment. And maybe the next time I feel God telling me to be still I’ll obey without throwing a fit.

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