The forgotten one.

Maybe you started 2017 with a word, a phrase, or even a resolution for the year. If you’re like me you might have already forgotten what you hoping for this year. I have a tendency to get big ideas, make big plans and then abandon them. Perhaps they are too big, unsustainable plans, but I was looking through my drafts and found this post from last year. I forgot to post it in the midst of wedding planning but we are approaching our first anniversary I thought, “why not now”. Maybe you forgot how you wanted to live out 2017. It’s never to late to re-engage and starting living out your hopes and dreams.

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I spent the last three months of 2015 with my nose stuck in a book. I started 2016 with my nose in a book. The months in between are a blur. You know the old saying, “When you know, you know,” well that was my motto in 2015. I met my fiancé in March, we got engaged in September and we are getting married in May. I have never been more certain of anything in my life. Nathan brings out the very best in me and gives me the courage to be myself because he loves me just as I am.

We are coming down the home stretch of wedding planning or at least it feels like it – I know the next four months will go by quickly. This last year felt faster than any other year. Never before have I been so aware of the sweetness and shortness of life. Loving someone so much brings out emotions I’ve never felt. These new emotions have pushed me to reevaluate how I want to live out my mission. I’ve said it before, but I know now more than ever we don’t get just one mission. I truly believe we are given lots of missions, mini missions if you will, but they are all centered on loving Jesus and loving people. I also know the Lord gives us these missions with the freedom to accept. He will accomplish his plans with or without me. I want to be brave. I want to accept whatever mission He places in front of me.

I function better from lists. I’m just like my mom in this way. Growing up, and still to this day, she has lists for everything (she has a list for her list). She gets done what is on the list. If it’s not on the list it might not get done. The same goes for me. If I don’t write it down and organize it in a way I can remember I might forget. I might forget I want to be brave. It sounds silly but it’s true. This blog, it’s a place for me to capture my thoughts, so I can remember what I want to accomplish. And more importantly what the Lord has already accomplished in my life. And so my list to help keep me on track.

Be Brave. It sounds a little crazy but I think bravery is something we have to practice every day. Can you remember the last time you were brave? Bravery says I will follow the Spirit wherever He leads whether to success, to failure, to heartache, or happiness. I will put myself out there to be criticized knowing the Lord is in this growing me, teaching me and drawing me closer to him.

Tell My Story. I love to write. It may not be the most eloquent writing but I enjoy it. Thoughts run through my head all day long. Seriously. It feels like my brain never stops. Sometimes these thoughts are nothing but most times with a little work it’s something the Lord wants to show me. And so I choose to tell my story through the way I live my life but also through this blog.

Forget Perfect. I have been working on a post for weeks on recovering from perfectionism. Strange thing – I couldn’t write it. I struggled and struggled to get the words out. I suppose I’m not there yet, I haven’t completely abandon the idea of being “perfect” but I want to this year. I want to live out of a place of good enough.

“So many of us believe in perfection, which ruins everything else, because the perfect is not only the enemy of the good; it’s also the enemy of the realistic, the possible, and the fun.” – Rebecca Solnit

It’s exhausting trying to be perfect because guess what it doesn’t exist. One of my new favorite authors, Brene’ Brown, has a theme, Wholehearted Living, throughout her books. At the core of this way of living is embracing, “No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.” So I want to remember to forget perfection and embrace enough.

I’m not making any New Year’s resolutions but rather making statements that will carry me through this year and beyond. I’ll fail at being brave some days, I’ll miss some creative writing opportunities and I’ll get lost in being perfect; but today I put my thoughts on paper. I’ll publish them here and my day will go on but I’ll feel better because I was brave, I told my story and I let go of perfection.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One thought on “The forgotten one.

  1. What a true and heartfelt story! Since I’m her momma and we had to plan the wedding living ten hours apart it definitely was a list making time!1 am like my daughter in trying to be perfect all the time and never accomplishing that dream. There was only one perfect person that lived on this earth and the rest of us are a work in progress. Suzanne, keep thinking, keep dreaming, and keep writing. You give us all food for thought! Love you, Momma 🐼❤🍇

    Like

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